Thursday, September 30, 2010

Cry Baby....

.....that's what I've become. 
Things will be going along just fine, and then out of nowhere something will remind me,  and I feel it coming. My throat feels tight, my eyes start to sting. I do my best to hold it all in, but lately I haven't been so good at that.  
I hate crying. Especially in front of people. I get so embarrassed; especially when it seems to come out of the blue and everyone around me is happy and laughing.  They must all think I'm crazy!
I even cry at parties.  
How sad is that??
My dear friend told me that I should just embrace it. That next time I'm feeling down I should throw a party so I can just ruin it by crying.
 Just want I want to be: The one who cries at parties. Nice.
I always feel awful when it happens, and I get so embarrassed. 

But the other day I had a epiphany.

99% of the time my tears are for my babies.  Feeling shame about crying for them is insane
They were my children.  Saying I shouldn't cry for them is like saying they aren't worth my tears. But they are. My heart aches for them, and I think it would be much more shameful for me to feel any other way.
So I will probably keep crying. 
I will probably cry at Isabella's party - because her twin brother or sister won't be there.
I will cry at Christmas because that is the day our baby was due to be born, but he or she won't be there. 
There are so many days that hold meaning for me, and on those days I will most likely cry. 
And that's ok.
I am not sorry for my tears because they are for my children.
I am sorry for making people feel bad, and uncomfortable.  I'm sorry if my tears come at an inappropriate time. And I'm sorry if my heartache puts a damper on your day. 

I have so very much to be thankful for, and much to be heartbroken over... and sometimes I just can't help but show it.
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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Favorite Cake

I am joining in on Shutter Love Tuesdays - Fave Cakes at the Trendy Treehouse.
We are supposed to share photos of our favorite cakes and I can't think of a better cake to share than our baby girl's 1st birthday cake!

Do I get bonus points for making it extra delicious? ;)
Ha! She couldn't get enough!
She had to make absolutely sure every last bit was eaten.

I have never had more fun making a cake than I did with this one!
Now the question is.... what do I make for her birthday this year? It's coming up!

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Monday, September 20, 2010

Miscellany Monday

1. For the past few days my almost 2 year old daughter has been asking for kisses each time she gets a boo-boo. She really has been taking full advantage too. She may ever so slightly graze her finger along the couch, and she will run to me with her fingers in the air asking for a kiss.
I don't mind at all.
Today she told me her tooth hurt. I thought a kiss on the cheek might make her feel better.
"Bella, do you want a kiss?" I asked.
"Yes" she eagerly replied, and proceeded to open her mouth extra wide so I could kiss her tooth! So funny! :)

2. I need a kiss on my fingers.... they are sore from working hard on some intricate new jewelry designs for Bella Regali. Be on the look out!
3. You may be wondering what happened to all the fun headbands and flower goodies I was designing for Pearls and Petals. I am happy to tell you that I have restocked my other shop It's A 10 with lots of funky new designs for you to enjoy! Click here to check them out! Let me know what you think!

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters
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Monday, September 13, 2010

Sugar, Sugar

So me and my husband like each other. Kind of a lot - it's no secret. ;)
One of our "pet names" for each other is sugar. We rarely use the other person's actual name, it's always "I love you, Sugar" or "I'm so glad I get to be married to you, Sugar" or "Sugar, what's for dinner?"....
You get the idea.
Anyway, the other day I was in the kitchen making dinner and Bella was riffling through the pantry, as usual.  She found a bag of powdered sugar and a bag of brown sugar and was carrying them around the room.  
"What do you have, Bella?" I asked.
She looked at me, unsure of what to say.
"That's sugar!" I told her.
"Daddy!!!" she replied.
A little confused, I repeated, "Bella, that's sugar in those bags."
Bright eyed and excited, she shrieked, "Sugar, Daddy!"
Then I realized what was happening. She hears me call him sugar all the time, of course she thinks I'm talking about him now! 
I just smiled and laughed, so happy that she sees how happy her mommy and daddy are together. And we are so happy she is ours.

I just love these sweet (and funny) moments, I don't ever want to forget these precious things!

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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Lovin' From the Oven

This weekend we had a taste of fall weather, which by the way, I am not too thrilled about. I love summer. I love the sun and the hot weather. I am not too happy about all the people trying to hurry fall along - I am clinging to summer! Fall here looks like this: gray skies 99% of the time, rain, cold, dreary weather that makes you want to stay in bed all day. Why would anyone choose that over warm sunny days?? But I digress...
My point was this: the cooler days made me want to whip up something warm and comforting with some autumn spice. So I decided to make my family some homemade cinnamon rolls. I don't think I had ever made them before and I didn't have a cherished family recipe handed down form my great grandmother, so I did what I usually do and just added to a bowl what I thought seemed right. Makes more sense than finding a recipe, right?
They turned out really yummy, so I thought I'd share the *recipe* with you!
I am telling you, not much smells better than buttery cinnamon goodness wafting through the air!

Grab a mixing bowl and toss in:
2 (ish) cups of flour
1 tsp baking powder
1tsp baking soda
3/4 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup oil

Mix them all together until a nice dough forms.

Toss some flour on your clean counter and roll out the dough into a rectangle.

Butter the dough generously with very soft butter. I think I used 1/2 cup :)

Sprinkle on a mixture of:
1/3 (ish) cup brown sugar
1/3 (ish) cup white sugar
1 Tbs (ish) cinnamon
(I like a lot of cinnamon, you may want to use less.)

Roll it up and slice into 12 (ish) rolls. Place them in a buttered pan with enough space in between for the rolls to expand.
Bake at 375 for about 25 min.

3 Tbs soft butter
3 Tbs soft cream cheese
1 1/2 (ish) cups powdered sugar
a few splashes of milk
Mix together and pour over hot rolls.

Give these a try, I think you'll love them!

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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

More Than Words.... Promises!

I have mentioned before that I am participating in a challenge to read through the Bible, cover to cover, in 90 days. It's going really well. This is not the first time I have read through the Bible, however, after all I have been through I am seeing passages in a new way, and I suppose I am seeking comfort. So many verses have really spoken to me and this passage from Isaiah 43 is so wonderful I just have to share it with you.
This is not the entire chapter; I have just written down the parts that I found to be so comforting. (To read the entire chapter open your Bible to Isaiah 43, or if you don't have a Bible just google it!)

But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, he who formed you:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

3 For I am the LORD, your God, your Savior.
4 You are precious and honored in my sight,
and I love you.
5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you.

10 "You are my witnesses," declares the LORD,
"and my servant whom I have chosen,
so that you may know and believe me
and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
nor will there be one after me.

11 I, am the LORD,
and apart from me there is no savior.

12 I have revealed and saved and proclaimed—
I, and not some foreign god among you.
You are my witnesses," declares the LORD, "that I am God.

13 Yes, and from ancient days I am he.
No one can deliver out of my hand.
When I act, who can reverse it?"

19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.

20 The wild animals honor me,
because I provide water in the desert
and streams in the wasteland,
to give drink to my people, my chosen,

21 the people I formed for myself
that they may proclaim my praise.

25 "I, even I, am he who blots out
your transgressions, for my own sake,
and remembers your sins no more.

I love that God promises to be with us in the hard times; He promises to not let them overtake us. I love that He makes all things new, He uses our circumstances for His glory and our good. I love how He provides even when it seems impossible - nothing is impossible for Him! And I love that if we surrender to Him, he promises to forgive us completely for all the rotten things we do. I love that His grace and forgiveness goes far beyond the depths of our sin. He says we are precious and honored in His sight, and He loves us!
I think that's pretty fantastic!

I hope these verses will be a blessing to you as they have been to me.
Please feel free to email me if you have questions or want someone to talk to.

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