The Unexpected

It was a rough pregnancy - including the years it took us to conceive, the many invasive procedures, trips to the emergency room, the heartbreaking miscarriages, and the looming feeling of hopelessness that we  might not be able to have more children. 

But God is faithful and he chose to fulfill our hearts desire for more babies. 

We were elated to discover I was pregnant with twins! Through the painful OHSS, constant horrible "morning" sickness, bed rest, and pre-term labor, I rejoiced because these babies were MIRACLES. I relished every second of this pregnancy because I truly understood the value of these little lives and how I would not be able to carry these babies without God's hand of protection over us.

On August 19th I was admitted to the hospital. I was 32 weeks pregnant and in hard labor. I was given high doses of magnesium to try and slow the contractions and buy these boys a little more time inside. I was terrified when the doctor examined me and told me I was dilated, and every test performed showed that I would indeed deliver soon. 

 I was afraid for my babies lives. 

I made it this far, but it didn't seem like enough time. 

I felt like a failure. 

On Sunday, August 21, the drugs stopped working. My contractions got stronger and and were coming every minute. 

I went from enjoying a visit from my daughter in my hospital room one minute, to being rushed into surgery the next. 

I just prayed. 

Prayed for the lives of my sons. Prayed that they would defy the odds and be healthy. Prayed that I would be able to hold them very soon and look into their eyes and tell them how much I loved them.

As the surgeons began their work, my husband sat close to me holding my hand, telling me I did great and our babies would be ok.

I was fighting tears, wanting to believe him.

To be continued...