I am having a hard time tonight.
I keep thinking about what we were going through 2 years ago (see my post Hope for details). I'm trying to cheer myself up by remembering how good God is and how he blessed me with a wonderful husband to share my life with, and how He blessed us with our daughter. We do have a great deal to be thankful for.
But I keep thinking about our babies, and I miss them. Terribly. I remember the joy we felt with each pregnancy seeing our babies on the ultrasound monitor. I remember finally letting myself get my hopes up.... then my heart just breaks all over again. How can you love someone so much if you never knew them??
This is a picture of the ring my husband gave me just minutes after finding out we were expecting. After I miscarried, I couldn't wear it for a while. It was a reminder of what I had lost. But now I wear it because I remember them and I love them.
(Sorry for the unpleasant post on a night most people are celebrating, but it's what's on my heart. Perhaps I should strive to post only happy thoughts in 2010)